Happy kitty

A while ago Boots was diagnosed with a thyroid problem and prescribed very high dose tablets. Recently, she started moving weirdly, like she was in pain, with sad staring eyes and would sleep hunched up. The vets could find nothing wrong.

Then I suddenly wondered if it was side effects from the tablets. So 4 days ago I stopped giving her the tablets. Within 2 days she was TONS better. Yesterday, I took her to the vets and he agreed she was so much better. And look at her now, 4 days after stopping the tablets! She hasn't relaxed like this in months.

The Bird in the Tree - Elizabeth Goudge - Book Review

5 stars

I've previously read The Herb of Grace (Pilgrim's Inn) and The Heart of the Family (books 2 & 3 in the series), but had never read this one, the first in the series, 'The Eliots of Damerosehay'.

This is a book about true life being rooted in a deeper life source than mere passing fancy and passion; it's a book about faithfulness and truth.

It's also magical. The house, the history, the people, give this story so much depth and heart.

The grandmother Lucilla, dignified and much loved doyenne of Damerosehay is distressed to learn that her grandson, David, is passionately and overwhelmingly in love with someone who will cause much pain for the family.

I wrote a few quotes down, but I love this, which is part of a speech by Lucilla to David in response to his heartfelt belief that being true is being true to your most passionate feelings, however much pain they may cause others:

'What is it once one moves beyond the narrow conception of truth as the correctly spoken word?...[T]rue action is the creation of perfection while lying action is the creation of something that falls short of the ideal...truth at its greatest is something made in the likeness of God.

'[I]f truth is the creation of perfection then it is action and has nothing to do with feeling. And the nearest we can get to creating perfection in this world is to create good for the greatest number, for the community or the family not just for ourselves; to create for ourselves only means misery and confusion for everybody. That made me see that acting a part is not always synonymous with lying, it is far more often the best way of serving the truth. It is more truthful to act what we should feel if the community is to be well served rather than behave as we actually do feel in our selfish private feelings.'

The story does not merely focus on David and Lucilla, but also on Damerosehay and its history, and the other family members, and local residents. It's a wonderful, wonderful story.

When you want to read a book, but you have a cat...

Lion and Lamb - Brennan Manning - Book Review

3 stars
For me, this book verged between amazing and thought-provoking to 'makes me want to throw it out of the window'. The good outweighed the frustrating, therefore the three stars.

Manning's book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, was life changing for me. But this one...I dunno...I think it needs a second read at some point, maybe I'm just not in the right frame of mind for some of Manning's points about suffering, etc. It just felt too hard, too otherworldly, too selfless, too high a standard. However, the answer most probably lies in the part which did resonate.

What did resonate with me was Manning's encouragement to look past our own failings and past and whatever drags us down and look to Christ. Meditate on his holiness, his beauty, his love, his peace...look away from yourself and look to him. This is where purity of heart comes from. Which reminds me of these two scriptures: Matthew 5:8 'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God'; and, 1 John 3:3 'All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure'.

We TRY to be pure and fail because we are concentrating on ourselves; we are being legalists or are self-obsessed (both selfishness and self-hatred are different sides of the same coin). But if we simply place all our hope in HIM we purify ourselves because he is pure.

Manning encourages the reader to empty themselves, he writes: "Simply hoard nothing of yourself; seep the house clean. Sweep our even the attic, even the nagging, painful consciousness of your past. Accept being shipwrecked. Renounce everything that is heavy, even the weight of your sins. See only the compassion, the infinite patience, and the tender love of Christ. Jesus is Lord. That suffices. Your guilt and reproach disappear into the nothingness of non-attention. You are no longer aware of yourself, like the sparrow aloft and free in the azure sky. Even the desire for holiness is transformed into a pure and simple desire for Jesus." (Which reminded me of my favourite Tim Keller book - The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.)

Overall, a good book and I may increase the stars on a second read.

Look what came in the post today!

Look what came in the post today! PORG!!

We watched Star Wars The Force Awakens and I fell in love with these cute creatures. Mine sits on the bed now :D

In the Name of Jesus - Henri Nouwen - Book Review

5 stars

I underlined so much in this book. It's short but full of SO much to ponder. Nowen intertwines his pondering with biographical details of his own journey from respected academic to ministry in a home for the mentally handicapped. Here he found people who could not be controlled or manipulated into ways of thinking that Nouwen thought were right or important. He found people who lived simply and with their heart; and VERY honestly. It seems that this ministry revealed more the truth of where Nouwen was with God than any amount of training ever could. Here he found the truth of leadership - it can only be done vulnerably in community, not from a position of 'authority' but one of soft openness to what others can teach you and by moving forward together (sometimes it might feel like you're going backwards - but then you end up where God wanted you to be in the first place).

Nouwen points out that those in ministry and leadership are not meant to keep a safe distance from the people of the church. It was never meant to be a kind of worldly client relationship (like the serving professions of medicine, psychiatry, social work, etc.).

Nouwen asks, "[H]ow can anyone lay down his life for those with whom he is not even allowed to enter into a deep personal relationship? Laying down your life means making your own faith and doubt, hope and despair, joy and sadness, courage and fear available to others as ways of getting in touch with the Lord of life.

"We are not the healers, we are not the reconcilers, we are not givers of life. We are sinful, broken, vulnerable people who need as much care as anyone we care for. The mystery of ministry is that we have been chosen to make our own limited and very conditional love the gateway for the unlimited and unconditional love of God. Therefore true ministry must be mutual. When the members of a community of faith cannot truly know and love their shepherd, shepherding quickly becomes a subtle way of exercising power over others..." YES!

I think a lot of the issue of distance between leader and led in the church today is one of fear and lack of trust. Either they feel that they must appear strong and in control of their Christian lives - because they fear that people may mistake any vulnerability for an inability to lead/minister. Or, they have been hurt by people in the church and so put up walls to protect themselves - make themselves resilient to criticism and hurt. Instead of strengthening a leader, this simply makes them hard and more prone to forcing through their own agendas and steamroller others into their way of thinking/doing as they shut their ears and emotions from what others are saying.

Nouwen also touches on something that is very dear to my heart - theological reflection - not that of academic head knowledge (though I do love a good academic tome), but reflecting on the nature of God and, by His help, becoming attuned to and transformed by the mind of Christ. Such reflection will, Nouwen observes, "...allow us to discern critically where we are being led...Without solid theological reflection, future leaders will become little more than pseudo-psychologists, pseudo-sociologists, pseudo-social workers. They will think of themselves as enablers, facilitators, role models, father or mother figures, big brothers or big sisters, and so on, and thus join the countless men and women who make a living by trying to help their fellow human beings cope with the stresses and strains of everyday living."

I've quoted a lot, but just for my own benefit mostly, here's a good one to finish on: "Theological reflection is reflecting on the painful and joyful realities of every day with the mind of Jesus and thereby raising human consciousness to the knowledge of God's gentle guidance. This is a hard discipline...The loud boisterous voices of the world make us deaf to the soft, gentle, and loving voice of God. A Christian leader is called to help people to hear that voice and so be comforted and consoled."

Thoroughly recommend.