Swa cwæð eardstapa

So spoke the wanderer

Ye olde English...isn't it cool?...or pretentious, whatever. LOL

Anyway, I am still alive. If you were worried of course... :)

So, what's new with me?

I've gone through quite a 'thing' recently.  Before I went AWOL I was not in a great place church-wise.  In fact until quite recently I just felt sort of dead, numb...you know...not very spiritual.  I felt cynical about anything church/Christian related. Worship music? Just so annoying.  Bible? Couldn't read it. Prayer? Very little.  Preaching? Made me panic.

No, not in a great place.  In fact I even asked God - am I losing my faith? Is this what it's like?

But I just could not give up Jesus.  I know He's real. I know He's alive. I know that He is AWESOME.  I did acrobatics with my mind, but whichever way I looked Jesus was in my life.

No, every time I analysed my feelings my conviction about Jesus was still there.

I was so confused though.

Sitting in a Women's meeting at church listening to a lovely lady speak I suddenly had my epiphany.  I am not losing my faith, God is stripping away all the dross.  All the rubbish I had been fed since being a child.  All the twisting of scripture.  All the misrepresentation of God.  All the lies about what a 'real' church is.  The setting up of the pastor as mediator between me and God.

It all had to go.

I had to be emptied in a way. Cleansed.

I cried that night when I realised this.  Cried with relief.  God hadn't given up on me.

Jesus had to be my absolute cornerstone.  God had to take away the shaky foundation.  He can't build on sand.  It all needed stripping away until all that was left was Christ.  My Saviour.  The reason for my faith.  The reason I live.  He had to be my everything.

All of that old church tradition, religion, legalism, burden, chains, cage, gossip, criticism, idolisation of a man, lies, mixed up theology.  It all had to go.

Even then though, I didn't feel any great 'spiritual awakening' until the following Sunday.  People were invited up after the preaching for prayer.  I went up ostensibly to ask for prayer about fear.  I've always been anxious and I can see it rubbing off on my two lovely girlies.  Two people prayed with me and I was so moved by their words.  They prayed that my fears would go, but what they also said spoke so deeply to me.

They are precious words that I don't want to share on my public blog, but from that moment it was as if my Bible was reopened to my eyes and my prayer-life is back.  The zest has returned.

I still have scars to heal, I have lots to learn, but the last brick of my jail-cell was taken away and I am now free.

My desire now, my passion, is that others will be free too.

[L]et us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

~Hebrews 12: 1b-2a

[NOTE: If you're new here, my family and I recently left a cult-like church...that is where the re-processing of my faith stems from.]

A drive-by hello

I've not forgotten my blog and I've not forgotten my blog friends. Just a little busy right now. In the words of Arnie: I'll be back. x

Happy Homemaker Monday - 12th August

For more HHM posts visit Sandra

The weather...

Rainy but quite bright.  Going to be about 15 C today. 

Right now I am...

Listening to Chatterbox playing Temple Run and Squidge playing City Island.  The music is quite annoying. :)

Thinking...

That I STILL haven't cut the grass and now it's raining!

On my reading pile...

Jane Eyre

On my TV...

Last night we watched Number 23 with Jim Carrey.  It's all about something called the 23 Enigma and this chappie who gets obsessed about it.  Apparently, Jim Carrey agreed to do the film as the 23 Enigma is something he is fascinated with.  I think the film was a pile of tosh and very boring.  There's 2 hours of my life I'll never get back! :)

What I found while surfing the net...

I rather like this post from The Moxie Wife: Love for Love's Sake

And this post from my hubby:  Children

On the menu for the week...

I have some tuna steaks, some steak pasties, and some chicken in the freezer...I'll probably do something with those but I haven't made a plan.

On my to-do list...

Mow that grass!!  *shakes fist at clouds n rain*
Do my usual Monday 'home blessing' as FlyLady calls it
Shopping
Ring the Child Tax Credit people

In the craft basket...

Nothing at the moment

Looking forward to this week...

Time with G tonight as the girls are staying at my friend's for a sleepover. :)

Looking around the house...

I can now hear the girls screaming as it has just started to absolutely pelt it down with rain and hailstones and they're trying to fasten up the waterproof cover on the guinea pigs' hutch.  Haha, good timing! LOL

From the camera...

From our friend's camera:

Chatterbox getting hugs off two little girls at a church kids club

On my prayer list...

Friends of mine who are having family issues
My husband and his health issues and his hospital appointment tomorrow.

Bible verse, devotional...

Here's the verses I'm memorising today (I'm memorising Psalm 91):

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
WhoShall abides under the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of my God the LORD, "He is my refuge and
My fortress; My God, in Him I will trust."
Surely He will shall save you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.  (Psalm 91:1-3)

OK I'm going to check I got that right...not bad, a few small errors. :)

Here's a few devotional thoughts:

On Gratitude:
Waiting till you're happy before you give thanks, is like waiting to be healthy before you take your vitamins ~ Ann Voskamp

On forgiving others:
For a long time I used to think this a silly, straw-splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life - namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason why I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things. Consequently, Christianity does not want us to reduce by one atom the hatred we feel for cruelty and treachery. We ought to hate them. Not one word of what we have said about them needs to be unsaid. But it does want us to hate them in the same way in which we hate things in ourselves: being sorry that the man should have done such things, and hoping, if it is anyway possible, that somehow, sometime, somewhere he can be cured and made human again.~ C.S. Lewis

Have a blessed week! Hugs.

Friday's Fave Five

I've not done this meme before, and it looks fun.  I'm trying to really focus on my blessings.  Focusing daily on our blessings, and having gratitude for them, has been shown to improve mental health generally.  This has apparently been proven in some scientific studies.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. ~Proverbs 17:22

Before I get to the meme I just wanted to share also that I watched an interesting programme on BBC2 about this: The Truth About Personality, this chappie suffered from lifelong pessimism and insomnia.  He undertook a series of experiments to improve his general outlook, two of which were meditation and spending time each day focusing on photographs of happy people.  Sounds strange but it really did work for him, I'm not sure that it made him into Pollyanna or anything, but it did change his brain-wave patterns and made him look automatically for the positive rather than the negative.  It was SO interesting.  Do watch it if you have time, it's an hour long but fascinating:


Humour is also a good way for me to 'look on the bright side' too, nothing like a good chuckle to cheer you up. :)

So anyway, here's my Friday Fave Five!

Visit Susanne at Living to tell the Story

1. Our holiday

Every year my Mum and Dad take us away on holiday.  We never have enough money to pay for a holiday ourselves so this is a great great blessing.  This year we went to Cornwall, to a place called Bodieve near the small town of Wadebridge.  We had fantastic weather, only a couple of days of drizzle and cloud - which in England is a huge bonus!  Cornwall is a beautiful place, I've always said that my dream is one day to retire there in a small old cottage on the coast.

2. Birthday!

I turned 40 on holiday!  Yes, I know, I don't look a day over 21.  Here I am opening my cards in the cottage.  My Dad looking resplendent in his slippers and Squidge still in her jammies.  It was a lovely day.  They made my breakfast, and I got some lovely presents! I am loved. :)

3. Eden Project

One blessing we see often, but daily take for granted is the beauty of plants. Trees especially are essential to our survival, they provide oxygen and are an integral component of the water cycle.
Whilst we were there, we visited The Eden Project. The project aims to educate about and protect the earth's plants.  There are two biomes to visit, the rainforest biome and the Mediterranean biome, plus a whole host of other things to look at.  It's fascinating. 

Inside the rainforest biome, which is SO humid and contains butterflies and birds flying around, there is an aerial walkway.  It is unbelievably high up.  It is suspended from the top of the biome by wires, so when you're walking up the steps and standing on the platform it is swaying.  Also, the floor is metal mesh, so you can see right through.  It is not something for the faint hearted!

The high suspended walkway

Photo from the platform

A butterfly in the rainforest biome

Outside the biomes, the metal-man you can see at the bottom right is made from discarded electrical equipment

4. Birds of Prey and Jellyfish

You know, God has created some amazing beautiful creatures.

Whilst we were there we also visited the Cornish Birds of Prey Centre.  What an wonderful place.  It is immaculately clean, the birds are all well cared for, I think all of them are rescue birds.  Birds that have been mistreated or given up by their owners.  Apparently the Harry Potter films led to lots of people deciding to keep owls!  What on earth possesses people to think that they can keep owls as a domestic pet?  Anyway, here are some pictures.  Such beautiful creatures!

Not a bird, but still a beautiful creature! :) Squidge having fun on their zip-wire

This made us chuckle.  Poor Romeo.

Speaking of fascinating creatures, here are some jellyfish from the beach. Chatterbox was not impressed one day at the beach, there were hundreds of them in the sea.

Apparently this kind of jellyfish can give you a painful sting

 

Investigating jellyfish in a bucket - these kind don't cause a painful sting - but we didn't touch their tentacles just in case!

5. Family

I just love the summer holidays.  I love them because I get to spend more time with my girls and when we go away with family it's even better!

Have a most blessed weekend!

7 Quick Takes vol 228

--- 1 ---

My cat, as my blog-friends will know, has mental issues.  She drives my husband mad.  I often wonder what a pet psychologist would think. I talk to her about her issues. Oh yes, I talk to my cat, it's not as bad as talking to plants!  Anyway, applying psychology, I think she is suffering from separation anxiety.  Yesterday we went for a short walk and she followed us to the end of her little territory and then started making the weirdest noises (which Boots is rather good at), sort of like, "A-ROW-ROW-ROW, A-ROW-ROW-ROW", in a deep sort of possessed cat-voice.

--- 2 ---

Speaking of pet psychologists, this clip from Frasier is hilarious:

--- 3 ---

Our latest favourite comedy programme is The Big Bang Theory.  Don't you just love Sheldon? Jim Parsons plays the part amazingly well.  I love the Rubik's cube tissue box, I saw it on eBay. WANT! But we're a bit skint at the moment so it'll have to wait.  I had to look up how to spell Rubik's...I thought it was Rubix, but obviously it was a cube designed by Rubik, hence Rubik's cube.  See? Apostrophe for possession, so helpful.  Just saying. :P

--- 4 ---

One of my favourite Big Bang episodes, Penny takes Sheldon to Disneyland and comes up against some custody issues with Leonard. :D

--- 5 ---

Speaking of Leonard. Sheldon calls him homunculus, which generally refers to a small perfectly formed human. This is now Squidge's new name.

--- 6 ---

The girls have been enjoying themselves at a church holiday club all week. They love it. Chatterbox is helping to look after the younger children. She just loves it, and they love her. She has a real gift with little ones.

--- 7 ---

Speaking of Chatterbox, she is 12 in just under 2 weeks. Twelve! Where did the time go? They grow up so fast. These school holidays are such a blessing, to spend lots of time with them because it goes so quickly. *sigh*

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

His mercies are new every morning...

...and this is His gift of grace.

Good morning.  I'm sitting with my toast and marmalade and a lovely steaming cup of coffee. Mmmmm.

I am try to get into the habit of prayer at set times again.  When I go away on holiday it all becomes a bit hit and miss.

Add caption

A morning prayer
Lord, I light this candle because you LORD, are, "My light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?  The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?"
Without your light, Jesus, I am blind and living in darkness, for You said, "I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."  May I always live in Your light.
I pray, Heavenly Father, as a child of yours, that I remember always that I have the light of Jesus within me.  May I carry that light to others and always walk as a "child of light".
You tell us Lord, that we your children are, "The light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house".  May I today be a light in my home for you Lord.
Kindle in me a flame by your Holy Spirit, may the oil in my lamp never run dry, may I always turn to you to be filled with life and light.  May I always be awake and alert.
And now, Lord, help me to meditate upon, learn and live your Word today.  May your life giving Word be, ...a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."
In Christ Jesus, who was and is and is to come, amen.

[Scriptures: Psalm 21:1; John 8:12; Ephesians 5:8; Matthew 5:14-15; Matthew 25:1-13; Psalm 119:105.]

I have a few things to do today, the garden is the most pressing...that and Squidge's toenails!  My word, I think she's been digging in the garden with them!  LOL. 

Haha, now there's a to-do list:

Laundry
Gardening
Toenails

You don't often see that on a to-do list. ;)

The garden is jungle like.  I'm pretty sure that whilst we have been away on holiday someone has been pouring miracle grow on the weeds!  No doubt as I am mowing the lawn I will uncover David Attenborough making a documentary about gorillas or something. "Here, in someone's badly maintained garden, we see a whole new eco-system has exploded."

Anyway, must get on.  Finish coffee and then smoke family out of their beds.

Have a blessed day!

Hugs.

More humour therapy...

Hahahaha this so looks like Boots.  Perhaps she has a secret life.

Anyway, G is on the phone to his sister, so a brief post. Boots has finally calmed down after coming home from the cattery.  She's been so stressed out, poor kitty.  Last year, knowing her stress levels, I got her some tablets from the vets to calm her down whilst she was in there.  Perhaps I should have done that this year too. On the first day back, she was purring away happily, then turned on me full claws hissing crazily.  She was cat-on-the-edge.

Yesterday I had a brief snooze...well it turned into 2 hours but that's another story...fortunately Boots decided she was hungry.  I woke up to her licking my elbow.  When I woke up she said, "Mew" hopefully and then ran off down to the kitchen.  Which takes me to this funny cat picture:

Today she's been very chipper, following me around meowing and rolling around showing her belly so that I will scratch it.  Life's never dull with a cat.