Who is in control?

Michele at Our Daily Work set me off thinking with her recent post about meekness, the quote she shares makes an excellent point about meekness and our responses to irritation.

One of the things I have learned is that often my anger or irritation comes from a number of sources - fear, indignation, frustration, a sense that I have lost control of a situation, self-righteousness.

I get very irate, for example, by the behaviour of certain drivers who seem to think it ok to drive along with two wheels on the pavement whilst I am walking past with my children.  I have had various altercations with people on this very score.  One van driver apologised to me and I graciously shouted at him, "AND I SHOULD THINK SO TOO!!", as I stalked off in the opposite direction, head held high with Squidge looking terribly embarrassed. LOL.

Here is the key to my anger in this situation: 1. Fear (of being hit by a car); 2. Indignation (at the idiots who seem oblivious to pedestrians); 3. Self-righteousness (I am right, the driver is wrong and I'm going to jolly-well make sure he/she knows that he/she is wrong!).  Result: Nine times out of ten I end up in a shouting match with some random stranger.  Who wins? No-one, I'm shaking with anger, Squidge and Chatterbox are embarrassed, and the driver of the car is either oblivious or angry and so screeches off and probably has a rotten afternoon perhaps driving the whole day on the pavement because no-one is going to tell me what to do!!

But I am right, I know I am right.  They are driving dangerously and illegally.  I have every right to make my anger known.  But, apart from the very sweet van driver who got a stern telling off and responded with an apology, most people are unaffected by my displeasure.  I see them week after week around the school and local streets doing the same thing. Too impatient to wait, they drive along with two wheels on the pavement to get past whatever is obstructing their path - pedestrians, other drivers, the road....

I get the same anger in relation to people who do not pick up their dog's poo.  "PICK UP YOUR DOG POO!" I shouted at some fella on the field near our house (NB: in the child's play area of all places thus justifying extra dollops of self-righteousness on my part), "YOU pick it up!!!" he screamed back.  You see, shouting at people just makes them angry and unreasonable.  It doesn't work.  But I digress...

One day, after such an altercation,  I heard in the quietness of my heart, "Who is in control?"  And I realised the answer.  My anger comes from fear - but God is in control - my anger comes from indignation - but God is in control - my anger comes from self-righteousness - but God is in control.

I don't always remember in time, sometimes my words of anger are out of my mouth before I remember, but God is still in control and I can rein myself in and take a step back to think.

If God is truly in control I have no reason to fear. If God is in control why am I indignant? Instead I should feel compassion for someone who has allowed impatience, or indifference, or whatever, to allow them to think it is OK to drive along the pavement when someone is walking past.  If God is in control, why do I feel so self-righteous?  If He is in control then the outward working of my life will be: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

None of this precludes making an official complaint about someone who is driving dangerously (or whatever) and if one is feeling especially peaceful and full of the fruit of the Spirit (something that takes me about an hour of prayer to reach, lol, thus rather time consuming) it may be fruitful to speak to someone directly about something (also,difficult if they are driving, unless you throw yourselves under their wheels to make them stop, thus putting oneself in more danger than one was in the first place).  But what is does mean is that I can take a step back, to not allow circumstances or people to control my emotions, but to allow God control.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
Do not fret—it only causes harm.

~Psalm 37:7-8

If I rest I find peace.  If I react one day I'm going to get run over or have a coronary - LOL.

xx