"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."I'd been thinking about the direction of this blog and what to do with it and what I wanted out of blogging when Sandra (one of my most favourite bloggers) wrote this post: Do Yourself a Favor, which is a brilliant post, just pop over for a read.
- Walt Disney
She writes:
"So I'm making a conscious effort to maintain what my blog is about, to never change it, whether its look or the content of the posts, it doesn't matter. I want my readers who have been here from the very beginning in 2006 to feel like this is home, familiar, not like a completely different blog they stumbled upon."This is why I love Sandra's blog. She is not ashamed of who she is, she writes beautifully and her love of her family and home are just so evident in her writing and photographs.
But for me, blogging has been a bit up and down over the years. Since I started blogging in 2005, I've had numerous blogs, off the top of my head they have been: Seeking His Glory, Faith, Hope and Love, A Bend in the Road, Another Bend in the Road, Verity Grace, Like Sunshine in the Home and this one now. I've been known as Mrs. Blythe (named after my favourite book character), Verity Grace and now my real name Sarah H. Sadly I've lost everything prior to September 2009 because of changing blogs so much, but I did import things from my last three blogs to this one.
Looking back I wondered why I changed blogs so much really. I think it's because I wanted to 'find myself' - perhaps thinking that the blog is always greener on the other side haha :D. Perhaps because I belonged to a crazy church that tried to mold me into what the leadership wanted me to be I was almost a split personality and couldn't settle on who I wanted to 'be' online because the church wanted me to be a perfect clone.
The funny thing is, every time I've changed my blog they've all morphed back into being very similar. A mix of devotional, day-to-day family life, homemaking, and occasional angst about something...oh and funny pictures of cats and my obsession with words and etymology.
I set up this blog in reaction to leaving that crazy cultish church. I think subconsciously I wanted to be like those spiritual abuse bloggers who help others in similar situations to escape the clutches of controlling and damaging churches. Perhaps I saw myself with a huge group of adoring followers and a book deal. Hahahaha. But of course this blog has done what all my other blogs have done, morphed back to type...and I have very few followers. LOL.
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| Symphony of Love, Flickr |
I'm glad in a way. Of course I will still share my experiences and rants about struggling with church stuff, but I'm glad it's not just about that. I don't want to dwell in perpetual victimhood. It's all about moving forward in my life and enjoying it! I've lectured about spiritual abuse at our local bible college and people have been helped by it, so I can use my experiences to help others. I don't want to name and shame, that's not what my blog's about, instead I want to document how I personally am moving forward. And, of course, continue to share my day-to-day life and thoughts about this, that and the other.
I've learned that It's OK to Fail and it's OK just to be me. Not perfect. Not a clone.
I'm moving forward, but I'm still being me.
I started this post with a Walt Disney quote which is quoted in the film Meet the Robinsons. Here's another from this film:
- You failed!Four lessons I've learned:
- And it was awesome!
- Exceptional!
- Outstanding!
- I've seen better.
- From failing, you learn.
- From success, not so much.
- You do learn from your mistakes.
- God does use messy people.
- You only find out who you are by moving away from who you're not.
- You can enjoy life while you're doing all this.
Let's hope that I stick with this blog from now on...but I can't guarantee it ;) hahaha
Big hugs and happy blogging!
7 comments:
I've been debating about whether or not to blog anymore. There are times I'm tired of it and then there are times when it bothers me when people say things that equate to "must be nice". I've moved away from my opinions for sure though.
I have to ask though...is it really the courage to fail? To me that says I'm going to deliberately try and fail. I'm sure that's not what you mean (I'd be surprised if it was). Isn't it more an accepting that you did fail? Or that it is okay if you do? I've been trying to accept what I consider failures in my own life.
Also, God's grace is awesome. He accepts us where we are. He loves us anyway. I like that. It's helped a lot lately.
No not to deliberately fail and certainly not to deliberately sin or anything like that, but the courage to fail in the process of life and not give up because of it. It's OK to fail and I think it takes courage to fail. I spent years never admitting failure because I had to keep up appearances. I was scared to be a failure. Now I accept the fact that, like everyone else, I am a failure. And that's fine, because I learn from failure, because I admit I am human and because without failure I cannot admit I need God. I'm not saying to be down on yourself either, that's why I say 'courage' to fail. Famous failures were actually great successes, and we can be too. Maybe not famous, but we can certainly learn from it. Henry Ford went bankrupt 5 times, Disney (whom I quote) failed spectacularly and was fired once for being 'unimaginative', they thought Einstein was backwards as a child, Eddison famously failed 1000 times to create the light bulb, it was said of Fred Astaire in his first screen test at MGM "Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little."...I could also mention the list of Bible characters that were a complete mess and yet God used them.
So, yes, it's more accepting that we all fall short of the glory of God. We can only be who we are, fail courageously and honestly (because I truly think people are helped more when we are honest rather than only showing the good side of ourselves), pick ourselves up and move on. Don't let your failures define you negatively, but instead say, "Well, I tried, and it didn't work out".
I'm not sure all that makes sense, but I hope it does.
Oh, and of course, we can be successes too! :) I fail at blogging in the sense of I don't have many followers or commenters, I don't make any money from it and I haven't got a book deal or subscribers or anything like that, but I am successful at blogging in my own personal way. From one angle I've failed, from another angle my blog is always just what it is, a reflection of what I'm up to or thinking at the time. I fail at being a perfect mum, but my children love me, my husband loves me and that's all that matters in the end. xxx
I loved your post Sarah and thank you for mentioning mine and the post I did. So glad it encouraged you to continue on with blogging and just be yourself. Ultimately that is all it's about, YOUR blog, and YOUR thoughts and opinions, we're not here to compete with anyone. I have followed you since 2006, through all your different blogs LOL I will continue to do so :) HUGS!!!!
That's it Sandra, it's not a competition! I remember once getting so obsessed with stats and how many people were visiting my blog at one point. Just be yourself and enjoy it, that's key. Big hugs to you too! xxx
Followers don't matter. Comments don't matter. What matters is, quoting you,' moving forward and still being you'.
I think many of us who have been blogging for ages reach a point where we wonder if we have anything new or interesting to say. I feel that way. Go on being you. I am always pleased when I see you have written a post.
I always love to read your blog too Elizabeth, thank you for your encouraging words. xxx
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