You know it's Christmas when you super-glue a wreath to your finger!

Juggling L

L has been doing British Gymnastics certificates in trampolining.

She's getting really good.

I took this photo and I think it looks like she is being juggled! Haha. Bless her.

The BIGGEST spider in the world!

Well, I could be exaggerating.  But today I caught the biggest spider I've ever seen.  Except I was so totally freaked out by this freak of nature, which I had trapped in a large glass with a slip of card, that instead of just throwing the spider out of the door, I threw the whole glass!

B was also in a state of being freaked out and spent the whole episode stood on a chair!

Oops

I admit I screamed as I released the glass, goodness knows what the neighbours thought we were up to, haha

Husband quiz

Saw this on Facebook so thought I'd test it out on G:

You have to ask your hubby these questions and write down exactly what he says.

What is something I say a lot? “I saw that!” (haha so far so true)
What makes me happy? Bibles (yeeees)
What makes me sad? Bibles (he could have said poorly people on 24 hours in A&E, or poorly animals, or world hunger...but nooooo)
How tall am I? 5ft 9 (nearly I'm 5ft 8)
What's my favourite thing to do? Bibles (he thinks he's funny)
What do I do when you're not around? Bibles (lol seriously????)
What makes you proud of me? I’m very determined, and when I’m teaching. (awww)
What is my favourite food? Jambalaya (mmmmmm feeeed meee)
What is my favourite restaurant? White House (not with Donald Trump haha...one near our house)
Where is my favourite place to visit? Cornwall
If I could go anywhere, where would it be? Israel
Do you think you could live without me? No (awwww)
How do I annoy you? Not putting the laptop away properly (it's all coming out now!)
What is my favourite movie? Olympus Has Fallen
Who is my celebrity crush? Simon LeBon (in 1984 maybe!!! lol)
You get a phone call that I am in trouble, who am I with? Liz (haha!)

So funny

[Conversation with old man in the queue for the tills at Co-op]

OM: "What's all that make-up for? [referring to co-op staff who have fake blood on their faces]
Me: Ah, they're dressed up for Halloween.
OM: Well, I thought that was just for children!
Me: Apparently not.
OM: They don't sing any more you know.
Me: [confused] What?
OM: They don't sing any more, the children!
Me: [still confused but nodding head in agreement] Awwwww.
OM: [sadly] In my day, if I didn't sing, they'd hit me.
Me: [extra confused] Oh dear!
OM: It were better then you know. Things are so different now. [shakes head sadly]
Me: I know [nodding head wisely even though I have no idea what he's going on about]

hahahahahaha bless him

Me at 16

BIG HAIR! Haha

Deep and meaningful conversations with my children

So, the girls and I have just read through chapter 10 of 1 Corinthians, during which I expounded with great wisdom the meaning of the scriptures. Afterwards there was a ponderous silence, then L said thoughtfully, "Mummy? I have a question"

"Yes darling," I said, knowing deep in my spirit she had been moved in a momentous way.

"When we are in heaven, do you think we'll be able to make our own eyeballs fall out?"

Hahahahahaha, children, they certainly keep you grounded!!

Life changing revelations!

So I knew B was about to read a chapter of Luke's Gospel, I'm upstairs doing some work while she does, and then she comes running.

"I've had a revelation! It's life changing!"

So I get internally excited that she's had some kind of spiritual epiphany.

"Yes! I've just discovered that your foot is the same length as your arm between your elbow and your wrist!!"

Haha, kids, they keep you on planet earth.

Fire!

I set fire to pasta today.

I forgot to put water on it!

Hahahahaha I am so ditzy sometimes.  Hubby was rather amused.

The house stinks of burnt pasta now. Yuk.

War torn puddy tat

Boots has been fighting.  Note the neighbour's cat's claw in her forehead! *sigh*

Charles II was a prophet!

1675 sounds very much like 2016, hahahaha!

"Whereas it is most apparent, that the Multitude of Coffee-Houses of late years set up and kept within the Kingdom, the Dominion of Wales, and the Town of Berwick on Tweed, and the great resort of Idle and disaffected persons to them, have produced very evil and dangerous effects; as well for that many Tradesmen and others, do therein mis-spend much of their time, which might and probably would otherwise by imployed in and about their Lawful Callings and Affairs..." Charles II, 29th Dec 1675

I love her

B: "Oh my gosh, the 2016 Olympics! Is that this year?"

Me: [sarcastically] "No, it's next year."

[Long silence] B: "Oh....hahahahahaha"

J Edgar Hoover just emailed me!

Just got this email from J. Edgar Hoover:

"We have good news for you from the FBI United States. we had a meeting with International Monetary fund and Federal Government of Nigeria/ Benin over your long overdue contract payment and we agreed with them that your fund should not cost you anything because is your money, which we finally reached an agreement yesterday that all the payment will be paid via atm smart card which is the simplest way to transfer huge amount of money to avoid cost of transfer and other statutory documents, which we stretched to have a strong agreement over the payment that will cost you only $195usd for delivery of your atm smart card via Ups or Fed Ex delivery company depending on your choice." 

Sounds legit. I mean, if J. Edgar Hoover has made the supreme effort of coming back from the dead to send me this email I really need to take it seriously.

How my child's brain works...

How my child's brain works. #1

*L is cleaning her teeth in her bedroom*

Me: I told you this morning not to clean your teeth in your bedroom, you should do it in the bathroom!

L: I'm not cleaning my teeth in my bedroom, I was cleaning my teeth in the bathroom and I came upstairs.

Hahaha

Chatterbox this morning *breathlessly*:

"Mummy! Oh my gosh, I just had the WORST dream. I was making my breakfast and I went to the fridge and it was like SKIMMED MILK! Awful."

Hahaha, they really make me laugh.

Indoors women are useful - even pleasant...

Click on the image to read the text, this advertisement is simply hilarious. "These pullovers look great anywhere. On the level!" Who needs a woman when you have a Drummond sweater?

I had to share this when I came across it; it really tickled me.

They don't make adverts like they used to!

Angela's post about annoying adverts reminded me to post this video of an old Weetabix advert. I love it, they just don't make adverts like they used to. Funny ones are always the best!



and also this Hamlet Cigar advert of a man in a passport photo-booth (oh how I remember those horrid orange or blue curtains in the background):



But remember, smoking (as well as photo-booths) is BAD for your health!!

A cat-astrophe

The 'kakakakaka' noise he makes is just like our cat when watching birds through the window.

Happy Homemaker Monday

The weather in my neck of the woods:
Wet and muddy with patches of ice here and there.

One of my simple pleasures:
A lovely cup of coffee - black, no sugar please - and a good book.

On my bedside table:
The Stripping of the Altars and The Book of Common Prayer, You're Coming With Me Lad: Tales of a Yorkshire Bobby and my Bible.

On my TV:

• A History of Christianity with Professor Diarmaid MacCulloch.
• History of Britain with Simon Schama. There's more info. on Wikipedia, if you're interested. I'm up to 'Revolutions' 1649–1689. Britain after Charles I's execution, when Britain was led by Oliver Cromwell. This was really a miserable period in history - Oliver Cromwell wasn't the most jolly of chaps, and he did some fairly atrocious things.

On the menu for tonight:
Lasagne

On my To Do List:
Catching up with chores after the weekend.
Hopefully some reading.
Some washing and ironing.
Taking the girls to dancing.

New Recipe I tried last week:
Chocolate brownies, which were a partial success.
Beef and carrot casserole with cheesy dumplings from the recipe book From My Mother's Kitchen.

In the craft basket:
Nothing at the minute.

Looking forward to:
Getting to church tomorrow, I missed yesterday.

Homemaking Tip for this week:
To get scum off your bath, sprinkle washing powder (laundry powder) onto a cloth and use it as a gentle scourer. The scum should come off easily without scratching the surface of the bath.

Favorite Blog Post of the week (mine or other):
2010 - Living in the Future by Angela. I want this book! It's a book written in 1972 in which some chap predicts what life would be like in 2010. Angela links to a website devoted to the book. She also writes about her day in 1972. Ahh, it makes me all nostalgic...well I wasn't born until 1973, but anyway...penny sweets, long hot summers, our Vauxhall Viva, my Dad's big moustache...LOL!

And also, Simple Arithmetic by Monix. I have such a time with Chatterbox's maths because it isn't taught in the same way that I was taught...and I find it so confusing that it was good to read that someone else finds it rather befuddling too.

Favourite photo from last week:

Not one of mine:

Friends of Irony

Lesson learned the past few days:
Can I say 'lesson learned' when it's something I keep falling down on? Guarding my tongue (or my typing on the internet) is an ongoing lesson. And also not reading things on the internet I know are going to wind me up! Let it go Sarah, let it go! :)

Onwards and upwards one hopes...

On my Prayer List:
My dear friend who has cancer and is being put onto an aggressive cancer treatment. However, she is a walking miracle confounding doctors, they cannot imagine how she has carried on with her life. She is an inspiration - but does suffer so needs lots of prayer.
My Dad who has been made redundant and who finishes in March.
My family, my church and my friends.

Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Matthew 19:21 (NIV)

Hosted by Sandra at Diary of a Stay at Home Mom.

Happy Sunday

flickr

Hope you're having a happy Sunday. I was a bit ill this morning so I didn't get to church. I'm feeling better now though.

So I watched A History of Christianity, with the historian Professor Diarmaid MacCulloch, which I had Sky+'d. It was very interesting. The first episode covered Christianity from the very beginning and its move east. It was very interesting indeed. For example, I'd never heard of the Syriac Orthodox Church, which parted ways with the main church in 481 AD over a disagreement at the Council of Chalcedon. The service in Syriac Orthodox churches is in syrian-aramaic, a language very similar to the language Jesus spoke (He apparently would have spoken Aramaic in a Galilean dialect, very different from that in Jerusalem, it is also possible that he would have spoken Koine Greek and of course Hebrew - the language of the majority of the scriptures).

wikipedia

I also baked a loaf of bread in my bread maker for the first time in ages. Hubs happened to mention the other day that he preferred home-made bread (who doesn't?), plus I'm trying to save money. Bread flour is 61p for 1.5 kg, which will make 3 loaves. Decent packaged bread (not the cheap rubbishy bread) is at least £1.00 so even with the salt, sugar, butter, milk, yeast and electricity used, it works out cheaper and nicer and less full of preservatives.

Lol this picture really made me laugh.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

As you may have surmised from the amount of pictures I post, I have a plethora of funny sites in my Google reader. If you're interested here they all are:

• Acting Like Animals
• Apostrophe Abuse
• Apostrophism
• Engrish Funny
• Epic Win
• Removed the Fail site...it's got decidedly dodgy of late.
• I can haz cheezburger (lolcats)
• I has a hotdog (loldogs)
• Oddly Specific
• The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks
• There I Fixed It: Epic Kludges

My plan today is to update my profile with a few new links.

Have a happy Sunday!