Friday 15 June 2012

Crises


"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship."
~Louisa May Alcott

Crises come.  The storms rage.  Such is life.  All part of living in a fallen world.  But God is the light that shines in the darkness, like a lighthouse.  He allows us charge of our own ships - he never forces his ways upon us - but he guides us, not by domination but by love.  Like the Eastern shepherd he leads and his sheep follow, he never drives like the Western shepherd, with frightened sheep running.

The reason I write these things is because I want to reassure myself that God isn't like a dominating authoritarian figure that demands obedience and threatens rejection, but instead draws us in love.

I'm a bit tender right now.  We left our church at the beginning of last week.  I've been there since I was four.

Some very painful things have happened.

If my posts seem a bit weebly (is that a word? if it isn't it should be), you may now understand why.

I wanted to delete loads of posts.  Everything that smacked of indoctrination and which I felt didn't show the real Jesus I wanted to delete.  But I'm a bit raw and might have got carried away, so I stopped.

You'll be patient whilst I make this adjustment won't you?

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm *very* sorry, that is really hard..... {{{Gentle Hug}}}

Sarah said...

Thanks Mrs B, it is hard. Hugs right back. x

emerrube said...

I have that same defense mechanism. :) Praying for you.

Sandra said...

I'm so sorry, I wish I could give you a big hug right now. Just remember that HE loves you, HE doesn't want anything from you, HE just wants YOU. Remember that :)

Hugs,
Sandra

Melissa said...

I can and will be patient...I know how hard it is to leave a church (although never one I've been with for so long). Hugs and prayers.

M

The Bookworm said...

Very hard :((. I hope you manage to find a new church home that will ease the adjustment.

Sarah said...

Thank you so much ladies. We hope to find somewhere nice soon. Sandra - that's why that quote by Lewis meant so much to me, I printed it off and now have it framed in my bedroom and my living room!

Hugs to you all.x

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I visit but don't usually comment.
I hope you'll share some of what's happened? It must be something major for you to leave the church after so long. I'm wondering is it you that's changed or the church?
Tread lightly, Carole.

Elizabethd said...

What a hard time you are going through, leaving a church is a big emotional step. Praying that you will settle in a new one.
By the way, I'm sure that weebly is a very good word!

Sarah said...

Thanks Elizabeth for your prayers, that means a lot to me.

Sarah said...

I may share what happened, I may not. I have no desire for such a painful decision to possibly be picked apart by people who have no idea what we've been through, not seen the tears, the pain, or the resulting sickness it caused. Be sure it was not done lightly.

Anonymous said...

I think you've misunderstood my phrase "tread lightly" and I didn't infer your decision was taken lightly.
Tread lightly as in tread lightly upon this earth, perhaps you've not heard of it before.
As some might say "regards" or "namaste" it's that sort of phrase.
I hope your hearts soon heal.
Carole

Sarah said...

Ah, I thought you were referring to the idiom 'tread lightly' which is a warning to be careful, thus inferring that we had not taken care in our decision.

Thanks for clearing that misunderstanding up and your good wishes.

~blessings.

Dulce Domum said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about this. I'm just catching up with your blog. I know what it's like to go through tough times, chuckie egg. Have only just got back to church after nearly 18 months on non attendence. If you want to chat you know where I am.

Sarah said...

Thanks Dulce Do., are you back at your original church? Hope you're OK too.

Dulce Domum said...

I'm all right. No floods, apart from my mum's village - it's as though she's surrounded by a moat! I'm back at church now, but only just. It's been a long, hard two years and I've been poorly with it (jibber, jibber) but I can see the sunshine now.

Sarah said...

Yay no floods!

Church has made me n' Mum poorly too! Pooey to it all! :)

Glad you're back, I'm slowly healing. Need a nice gentle church to remind me of how wonderful Christians really can be.

If you ever want to chat or email I'm here (if you want to email just leave a comment with your address and I won't publish it...unless it's a comment you want publishing of course, don't want you to feel rejected, lol).